ShelleKnows: Are you INTIMIDATED because you are INSECURE?

So hey,

shelleI got some stuff to get off my chest otherwise I might snap at the wrong person who is not strong enough to handle it.  So here it goes lol.  All through my adult hood (yes I know im childish but my age says I am still an adult) I have heard the words, intimidating and insecure. Intimidating comes with being something that others are insecure about.

Now me personally, I have insecurities but I have not been intimidated by anyone or anything in a while.  Why not? Because I grew up making steps to become confident in my life.  I learned my worth but I also stayed humbled through my success.  So now I do not feel the need to be intimidated by anything or one.  More so if I am given the opportunity I am excited to learn and conquer, but then again that is just me.  What makes that difficult, is when a secure individual comes into the presence of an insecure person…

When a secure woman comes into the presence of an insecure man??? Oh that’s when you will hear the words she is intimidating.  This can also happen vice versa, I have heard females being intimidated by men as well.  I guess it is one of those things where you as the insecure person feels as if you cannot meet up to the standards of the secure fullindividual.  Which is ok, but…please don’t try to tear that person down to your level or make them feel bad for being so accomplished. Honestly, it should make you want to try and step your game up but I will touch on that in a moment.

The same thing goes for job opportunities.  There are always times myself when I would pray for a job but when I actually got it or an opportunity would come to me I would feel intimidated.  Start doubting myself, start trying to find out what was wrong with the job that they would choose me.  Trying to find any reason not to feel bad from wanting to walk away from the opportunity. Then God stood up in me and reminded me, this is what you prayed for.  This is what you have been preparing for. You ask me to guide your steps in this direction, why do you think I will leave you now? I am here and so is this opportunity so lets go! And every time I gained a little more confidence.  I used my past as my leverage.  If I could handle that back then, then I can handle this right now.

Whether it was through my personal life, school or career I took on the challenge and did my best with it.  I may not have gotten it right all the time but I kept pushing to make sure I eventually got it right!

That is the same thing with meeting someone who you may feel is out of your league.  Do not make excuses as to why you don’t belong or try to minimize them so you feel like you do belong.  Take the opportunity to get better and keep pushing and trying until you get better. Otherwise you will be in the same position you were before, being miserable abound the same people you were before.

hmmmFellas, if I can sit in an office of older white men double my age as the only young black girl who has no clue about the business language they are speaking but I still manage to include myself and not get intimidated?

Then you can certainly put on your big boy boxers and not be intimidated by someone like me when I come in your presence.  Yes I am a queen and you have to treat me as such but when I stand next to you, you are my King and I need you to lead as such. Take the opportunity to listen and grow instead of running and pushing away someone that cares for you enough to want to see you win. Stop saying my success, my beauty, my stability, my independence, my whole life is intimidating to you and start conquering your insecurities so you feel secure enough to be with a woman like me.

Now there are people who look down on people and you can tell them about themselves but for the most part a person like me does not even see a reason for people to feel intimidated because I am just as regular as they come.  I guess my light just shines a little brighter.

-Shelle Knows!


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